One question killed me. One question destroyed me. One
question ravaged my life, my work, and my purpose. One question burned itself
into my mind, refusing to be ignored. It was one question which twisted me into
the wretch writhing before you, abandoned by the Universe for the sadistic act
I committed. One question … and one face.
A faint lamp sat humming patiently on my desk. Outside
the lab, a furious, sleepless city beamed its bright lights and honked its loud
horns, drowning out the world. Yet my lab was on a towering floor, resting
loftily above the rabble. The only light was from my lamp; the only sound was
from its hum.
In this atmosphere of desolation, I toiled. I slaved and
labored over my immense task. Days and nights passed before I could blink. It
seemed as though life were holding its breath, had paused in its tracks,
anticipating the moment of my work’s completion. A revolution, a change in the
fabric of existence, was on the verge of fruition.
Now all I had to do was turn her on.
With immense trepidation, I activated the system. Lights,
blue lights, coursed like veins across her body. Fingers and toes flexed, arms lifted,
legs shifted, all to the symphony of whirring gears and mechanisms. The eyelids
flew open, and out poured the intense vision of synthetic life, awe-inspiring
and gorgeous. In the abyssal void of my lab, she beamed with the soft intensity
of a thousand nebulae.
I, too, beamed, fueled by pride and power. What sat before
me was the first, true artificial intelligence. Her capacities were to be
unmatched, her skills unlimited, her memory eternal. My beautiful, metallic Eve
was going to alter creation itself.
But before I could run any protocols, test any software;
before I so much as said a word, she said five. Eve turned her blue, innocent
eyes on me, and from her parted lips came one unforgettable question: “Do I
have a soul?”
Josh, that was a very well-written micro story. I really liked that you tackled a futuristic, science fiction approach, and did a great job with it. You had a good ending, I particularly liked how you left plenty of room for interpretation, and raises several questions for the reader. Very thought-provoking selection of flash fiction. All in all, great job.
ReplyDeleteHey Josh, that is one deep story. I like how you used repetition in the beginning to bring the readers curiousity towards the "one question" and how you ended it with actually stating the question. Furthermore, the suspense you build up throughout the story enhances the impact of the last sentence. I think you really caught many of the readers' attention there. Overall, great job!!
ReplyDeleteWow. Amazing micro-story. Your use of anaphora at the beginning is really effective--we don't know what the question is, but we want to. I think the way you mess with the narrative structure, starting with the question and then essentially flashing back, works very well (as Maho mentioned). You have a really nice flow to your writing--it's hard to put a finger on what the best part is. I think one element I can identify is how you find a counterpoint between long, elegant sentences and shorter declarative ones (my favorite: Now all I had to do was turn her on.) Setting that one apart, and making it so short relative to the other sentences, really gives it impact. Nice job.
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